I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
