you have to choose: penises or morals?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
