I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
