i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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