nut hugger
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
two words...techno handjob
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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