Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Randomize