On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
...so i touched it.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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