She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
