We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize