The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize