I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
