It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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