I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
