Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
