I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
