HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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