He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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