Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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