Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
