Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
well most of my day revolves around power hour
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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