I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
