So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
