i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
