in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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