it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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