i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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