hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
