dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
