didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
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