i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
