erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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