i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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