I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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