you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
