Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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