i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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