she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
