everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We left the knife in your bed.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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