i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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