but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
