wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
