omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize