Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
