I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
