I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
