member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
