matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
