Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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