I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
