this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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