Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
