The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
