Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
