what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
