Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
