Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
