K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
